Santa Fred
by Eileen
Summary: Fred gets a job as a mall Santa, and the Brotherhood adjust to life with Wanda. (Tad's in this too.) *NOW COMPLETED!*
1. Uncle Santa?

Santa Fred  
  
(A reindeer pooped on the disclaimer telling you that I don't own X-Men: Evolution characters. Bad Rudolph!)  
  
"Guess what, guys?"  
  
Fred came in the door all excited.  
  
"What? New all-you-can-eat buffet opened up?" Toad guessed.  
  
"Nah! Better!"  
  
"You won the National Foods Cooking Contest?" said Lance. "No, even better!" Pietro looked bored. "Will you just tell us already?"  
  
"Okay." Fred reached into a plastic bag and pulled out a red-and-white hat. "Ta-daa!"  
  
In the silence, he could almost hear crickets chirp. No, that couldn't be right. No cricket was safe with Toad in the house. "That's it?" Fred couldn't believe how stupid they were. "No, that's not it! I'm the new Santa at the mall!"  
  
"No way!" Toad said. He looked around for that cricket that had been chirping.  
  
"Way! I've got the suit and the beard and everything! I start the day after Thanksgiving!" "You, a Santa?!" laughed Pietro. "What's wrong with me being Santa? They said I didn't even need padding or anything!"  
  
"That's for sure," said Toad. Normally Fred hated it when anyone called him fat, but right now he was so hyped up about the Santa thing that he didn't even notice. "I gotta go practice!"  
  
"Practice what?" Lance asked. "You can't say 'Ho, ho, ho'?"  
  
Pietro got that evil look in his eye. "Speaking of ho's--" "Excuse me?!!" demanded his sister Wanda indignantly,l ooking like she wanted to do him in with the nearest convenient blunt instrument. "I wasn't talking about you!"  
  
"Sure you weren't! You were looking at me!" "Well, I . . ." She hit him. Hard. "Ow!"  
  
"Hey!" Fred stepped between them. "Santa says be nice!" Wanda stared at him. "Huh?" "You're not the real Santa!" Pietro said. "I could be." "I don't have time for this!" "Neither do I." Wanda grumbled. "Let me at him!" "You can't beat up Santa!" Toad said.  
  
"HE'S NOT SANTA!" Even Lance was getting into it . . . There was the sound of a slammed door.  
  
The front door, to be precise.  
  
"Uh oh . . ." said Toad.  
  
Mystique was home. "What is going on now?" she demanded. Wanda and Pietro wasted no time pointing fingers at each other. "He called me a--"  
  
"She said she was gonna--"  
  
"Quiet or I'll tell your father!" That shut them up pretty quickly. She looked at Fred, in his Santa hat. "And what are you all dressed up for?" "I'm gonna be Santa at the mall this year." "You? Santa?" Fred nodded. "Are they paying you for this, or is it a volunteer deal?" "$10 an hour." Fred told her. "WHAT?" Pietro squeaked. "For sitting on your butt and listening to little kids? I want in on this!"  
  
"Too late. They've already hired all the Santas they need."  
  
Pietro took the sofa cushion out of his shirt and sighed. "Figures." "You'd make a lousy Santa anyway." Wanda razzed him. "Shut up!"  
  
"You shut up!" "BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" Mystique yelled. She was getting a headache. "I'm going to my room. If you have anything further to say to each other, you can discuss it with your father when he comes for Thanksgiving."  
  
Both of them went pale. "He's--he's coming here?" Wanda gasped.  
  
"Yes," said Mystique. "He said something about wanting to spend the holidays with you." "You've got to be kidding."Pietro insisted. "He wants to come here? Hasn't he got better things to do? Like taking over the world or whatever?"  
  
"Look, I just talked to him on the phone, okay? He said he's coming, and he wants to have a real family holiday."  
  
"Which holiday?" Wanda asked. Mystique rolled her eyes. Could these two really be so dense? "What do you mean, which holiday?"  
  
"I mean is he gonna be gone after Hannukah, or is he sticking around till after New Year's?" Pietro asked.  
  
"He didn't say." Wanda sighed. "That means we'll probably be stuck with him till Valentine's Day . . ." "Let's move to Mexico," Pietro said. He zoomed off and reappeared with a packed suitcase. "Hold it." Mystique stepped in front of him. "You're not going anywhere." "But, Mystique--" "I'm not going to explain this to him." Pietro looked like he'd just been sentenced to life without parole at Alcatraz. "C'mon . . ." "He's your father. He's been away for months. The least you can do is show him some respect." "Like he deserves any." Wanda was especially bitter towards her father, after all she'd been through. She started to say something harsh about her father when Fred stepped in again. "Take it easy, Wanda!" "Or what? 'Santa' won't bring me any toys?" "He wouldn't bring us any anyway, Wanda." Pietro scoffed. "That's for sure," said Toad. "You both act like jerks." Both twins turned on him, and were about to pound the slime out of him, when Mystique grabbed them by their collars. "I will not have you two behaving like this when your father is here! Now go to your rooms!"  
  
"HEY!" They both protested.  
  
"If you're going to act like five-year-olds, that's how you'll be treated," Mystique said. "You're not to come out until dinnertime." Glaring at each other, Wanda and Pietro stomped upstairs to their respective rooms, and slammed the doors. Fred turned his attention to putting on his Santa suit. "Well?" he said, when he was finished.  
  
Mystique frowned. "Couldn't they have found you a bigger size?" "They looked." "And you have to wear this when?" "Every day till Christmas." said Fred. It looked ridiculous. The bottom of the jacket and the waistband of the pants hardly met. And as for the hat, it barely covered the top of his head. "Hmm," she said, "we can fix it, I hope. Where's Pietro?"  
  
"Uh, you sent him to his room," Fred said.  
  
Mystique went up and knocked on Pietro's door. "If you're ready to behave like a human being," she said, "I have a job for you."  
  
"Is Wanda involved?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay." "Now then, Pietro," Mystique said, "if you can be nice, what we have for you is a simple tailoring job." Pietro blinked. "Tailoring?" The door banged open, and he stood there with tape measure in hand. "You ask, I'll make. What did you have in mind? Some nice lingerie? A new costume, perhaps--I can see you in black leather, for some reason . . ." Fred rolled his eyes. "Very funny." "Pietro . . ." Mystique warned. "Well, let's face it, the Blob-man here needs a new wardrobe." Fred held up his Santa cap."What's wrong with this?" "I'll tell you what's wrong with it. You've got a size Small suit on an XXXXL body, that's what."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I'm just telling it like it is, pal. Hmm, let me see . . . I think I have some fabric to match that. I can put in some panels along the sides . . . maybe something on the bottom of the jacket . . ."  
  
Three hours later Fred showed off his newly-redesigned Santa suit. "Now that's more like it." Pietro said. There was only a slight variation between the color of the pants and that of the side panels Pietro had added. The strip around the bottom of the jacket was hidden by an extra layer of fake fur. Even the hat was a little bigger.  
  
It wasn't perfect, but the little kids would never notice.  
  
"See? All ready, and we've still got three days to make any more changes."  
  
Two days later, Magneto arrived on schedule for the Thanksgiving feast. Toad braced himself for disaster. Wanda barricaded herself in her room, and refused to come out until "he" was gone.  
  
Mystique tried to reason with her. (That was no small feat.) "No! I won't come out and pretend to be happy in front of that--" "That what?" "You know."  
  
"No, I don't. Come out and talk to me."  
  
"Not if he's here!"  
  
"Wanda, you're being unreasonable!" "I'M being unreasonable?" Wanda was furious. "He's your father!"  
  
"Well, tell him to act like one!"  
  
"Santa to the rescue!" The suit was really going to Freddy's head. He leaned as close as he could to the crack in the door and whispered, "There's milk and cookies in it for you." That got Wanda's attention. "Okay," she said. "For milk and cookies. But they'd better be good cookies!"  
  
By the time they sat down to dinner, things were a bit calmer. Toad, however, still braced himself for disaster. The Brotherhood did not do Thanksgiving well. Or any other holiday for that matter. He still shuddered when he thought about the time Pietro had tried to make a Hanukkah meal . . . .  
  
********  
  
"These pancakes taste funny," Fred said.  
  
Pietro's jaw nearly scraped the floor. "FRED! Those were for tonight!"  
  
"Whuh?"  
  
"But you're kicking us out of the house tonight!" Todd pointed out. "You want to be alone so you can eat pancakes?" Pietro wanted to hit Toad in the worst way. "That's not why I want you guys out of the house." "Well, why, then? It's not like it's some big secret that you're Jewish! We'll stay out of your way! What?"  
  
"You wouldn't understand," Pietro said. "Hey, Freddy, you gonna leave me some of those?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
********  
  
"I'm not sitting next to him, and that's final!"  
  
So much for calm. "We don't have time for this, Wanda--" Tad was in his high chair, dressed in his big-boy suit (which would probably be covered in food by the end of the meal, but no one cared). Mystique had taken a little of the dinner and ground it up in the food processor. She was very proud of him. Today, Tad was the least of her problems.  
  
The seating arrangement had to be adjusted so that Wanda and Pietro weren't sitting next to each other. But she couldn't put Toad between them, because his pathetic attempts at flirting made Wanda furious. She couldn't put Magneto on their side of the table, either, unless she wanted to listen to them argue all day.  
  
In the end, she decided Magneto would sit at the head of the table. Going around to the right, it went: Lance, Pietro, Toad, Tad, Wanda, Fred, and then Mystique. This way nobody was next to anyone they didn't want to talk to. It had taken her six tries to get it right.  
  
The only remaining problem now was that Fred insisted on wearing his Santa suit to the table.  
  
"Don't you have something else that fits?" Mystique asked.  
  
"I wanna get the feel of it, before I wear it for real tomorrow."  
  
"What if you spill something on it?"  
  
"It's washable!"  
  
"I don't care! You're not wearing it!" As if she didn't have enough of a headache already.  
  
"It's the only dress-up clothes I have!"  
  
"I'll go make you some more!" Pietro offered. "I still have your measurements from before--"  
  
He raced off and came back with a navy blue suit. "Took me a little longer than I thought. I was going back and forth--wide lapels? Thin lapels? Wide? Thin? Then I sort of came up with the idea to--"  
  
Mystique grabbed the clothes out of his hands and thrust them at Fred. "Go change! Dinner's almost ready!"  
  
Fred lumbered out of the room. Mystique went back to the kitchen. "It would be nice," she said loudly, "if I had some help in here!"  
  
The limp bodies on the couch in front of the football game didn't stir an inch.  
  
She decided to get a little more specific. "Lance, set the table. Toad, get your brother into the high chair. There's a bib in the top drawer. Wanda, help me put these dishes on the table."  
  
Still no one moved.  
  
"NOW!" Everybody moved then, like they were on fire.  
  
Dinner went fine--apart from Wanda glaring at Pietro, and a minor argument erupting over the potatoes when Fred wouldn't pass them over to Lance. Then, just before the dessert, Wanda heard her father talk about grandchildren. It was only a passing remark, but it was enough to make her stand up and declare, "I am never having kids! Never! I'm not going to inflict more demon spawn on the world!"  
  
"Demon spawn?" This caught Toad's attention. "Who's a demon?"  
  
"Guess." Wanda's voice was like ice, and the look in her eyes was scary.  
  
"I thik you're overreacting just a tad," Magneto said. Big mistake.  
  
'OVERREACTING? YOU THINK I'M OVERREACTING?"  
  
"Oh boy," said Toad. He dived under the table and made himself scarce. So did everybody else, except for Magneto, who remained locked in a battle of wits with his willful daughter.  
  
Tad was still strapped into his high chair, and he hadn't yet figured out how to get out of it. "Gabee dah?" But Uncle Magneto and Auntie Wanda were too busy fighting to notice. They were yelling . . . and Tad didn't like yelling. "Nice going, yo," Toad grumbled. "You're making Tad cry." Wanda gave him a look that made him secretly want to run away,but nevertheless he stood firm.He told her and Pietro, "I don't know what your problem is, but you gotta work it out yourselves, yo. I mean, you're family! Families gotta stick together!" Apart from fathers who dumped their kids on their other kids' doorsteps, but he didn't count.  
  
"I'm not sticking with anyone who let me get locked away in the loonybin!" "What do you mean, let you get locked away?" Magneto looked at her as if she were insane. "You know what I mean!" "Well I don't!" Lance said. Wanda got up from the table. "I don't feel like talking about it. I'm going to my room." Tad looked at Wanda. "Ahdee," he said. "Ahdee Babah." Wanda blinked in surprise. Was he trying to talk to her? "Ahgoo-ahgoo," Tad said.  
  
"What did he say?" Wanda asked.  
  
"I think he's trying to say huggle-wuggles," said Toad. Wanda stared at him. "Huggle-wuggles?" Tad reached up for her.  
  
"Well . . . okay." She picked Tad up . . . It turned into a group hug before she knew it. "Toad!" she choked. "Get off me!"  
  
"What? I wasn't touching you anywhere nasty!"  
  
"All of you is nasty!" she shrieked, pulling away.  
  
"Aw, c'mon, Wanda, I wasn't gonna hurt you . . ."  
  
"I just don't like being touched, all right?" "Poh Ahdee Babah," said Tad. Toad was amazed. "Hey, he's talking!"  
  
"He's always talked," Fred said.  
  
"I mean really talking! Words we can understand, yo."  
  
"How old is he?" Wanda asked.  
  
"Uh . . ." The boys were looking away. "How can you not know how old he is?"  
  
"Well, we kinda know, but not exactly. See, he was just dumped on our doorstep one day."  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"I bet Santa knows how old Tad is," Fred said. "Why don't we ask him?" "Sada?" said Tad. "Uh . . ." Toad said, thinking fast. "Yeah! Fred, you can call Santa on the hotline or something and ask him, yo."  
  
"Hotline?"  
  
"You know . . . the one all the mall Santas have, so they can tell the real Santa what the kids want for Christmas?"  
  
"Oh yeah!" "Are you staying for dessert, then?" asked Mystique. Wanda shrugged. "I guess so." 


	2. A Very Special Hannukah

Santa Fred

Chapter 2

(Some of this will eventually work its way into the new chapter of _Frog Baby 2_, but till then, enjoy this!)

Friday morning, Fred had to be in at 10:00 for a final briefing before he officially began his Santa gig at 11.

  
"What's to brief?" Pietro said. He poured himself a gigantic bowl of cereal. "Ask the kids what they want, say 'Ho ho ho', give 'em a candy cane. Sounds like the easiest job in the world to me."

  
"Then why'd the last Santa quit?" Toad asked. He was feeding Tad some Cheerios, the one food he liked that wouldn't stick to the walls if he threw it.

  
"Sahda!" said Tad.

  
"You'll come see me, won't you, Tad?" Fred put his Santa hat on and beamed at the baby, who looked puzzled.

"Ahgoo F'ed," gurgled Tad.

"Ooh, he's so smart," said Toad.

"You have to call me Santa when I have this on," said Fred. "I'm in disguise."

  
Tad didn't know what that meant. "No F'ed?"

"Uh--"

"Well, kind of," Toad said. "He's pretending he's Santa."

  
Tad understood pretend. "Sada F'ed."

Magneto wasn't pleased . . . until he learned how much Fred would be making for his few hours of Santa duty. "$15 an hour?"

"Well . . . they charge for the costume, and take out taxes and stuff, so it's not that much, really."

  
Magneto shook his head. "Who knew there was so much money in impersonating the spirit of Christmas?"

"Lots of people, yo," said Toad.

"I still don't know if it's such a good idea . . ."

"Ahgoo Sada," Tad said.

Pietro picked Tad up and whirled around the room with him. "Are you gonna stay with us and light the candles for Hannukah?"  
  


"Hey! He ain't Jewish, yo!" Toad said.  
  


"How do you know? You don't even know who his mom is!"

"Sada F'ed," Tad repeated.

Mystique looked at Tad. "It doesn't matter what he is. We're having Christmas anyway."

Before another argument could erupt, there was a shout from upstairs.  
  


"Mystique! Wanda's in the bathroom and she won't come out!"

Mystique rolled her eyes. Oh, God, I really don't need this right now.

She went up and pounded on the door. "Wanda! What's going on in there?"  
  


Suddenly, she heard Wanda throwing up. "Oh, no," she muttered under her breath.

She threw the door open. What she found was Wanda looking like she had three seconds to live.

"Let's get you back to bed," Mystique said, picking the girl up.

Wanda could barely stand. Pietro looked at her and asked, "She catch something at school?"

"She hasn't been to school yet." And by the way she was retching, it didn't look like she was going to make it to school either.

"Maybe somebody else got something at school and gave it to her," said Toad.  
  


"But nobody else has been sick!"  
  


"How do you know? You could have had it and not even known it, cause you healed before you got any symptoms." Pietro's rapid 

metabolism was the next best thing to a healing factor. But Toad was right, he still would have been contagious.

And knowing their history with diseases, Mystique decided the thing to do would be to take Wanda to the hospital.

"Help me carry her to the car," she suddenly instructed Toad and Lance.

Wanda realized what was happening and fought back with all her remaining strength. "No! No! I won't go back there! You can't leave me again!"

"Ahdee Baba?" said Tad.

Mystique held the girl in her arms. "Ssh. Ssh, no one's leaving you anywhere. I just want to get you checked out. I promise I'll be right there with you the whole time."  
  


"Ahdee?" Tad didn't understand what was going on.  
  


"Auntie Wanda's sick, Tad," Toad explained. "She's going to the doctor."  
  


"Ahgoo-ahgoos?"  
  


"No, I don't think you should give her huggle-wuggles. You might get what she's got."

Tad looked at Wanda. "Lubboo."  
  


"What did he say?"  
  


"I think he was trying to say 'Love you'," Todd said.

Wanda's eyes misted over . . . or maybe that was from the flu. "Love you, Tad."

"Boy, she must be sick," Pietro said. "That's the first time she's ever said she loved anybody."

Tad gave Pietro a look. He did his Mystique impression well, for a not-quite-one-year-old.  
  


"What?" Pietro grumbled.

"Ahgoo P'etro . . ." chided Tad.

"What?"

"Ooh bee nas," Tad scolded.

"What did he say?" Pietro wasn't that good at translating Baby to English.  
  


"I think he said 'Be nice'," said Fred.

Pietro glared at him. "Don't you have to go, Santa?"

"No faht." said Tad.

"Sorry, Tad," Pietro said. Then he wondered why he was apologizing to a baby.

With that, Fred left. Wanda and Mystique were already gone.  
  


"Ahdee Babah," Tad said sadly.  
  


"Aw, don't worry, Tad," Toad said. "Auntie Wanda'll be back soon. She'll be fine."

Wanda was thinking about Tad all the way to the hospital. She'd sworn, just yesterday, that she would never have kids, but maybe it wouldn't be so bad, if they turned out like Tad.  
  


As long as her evil father didn't get his hands on him, that is.

All the Santa recruits were lined up, ready for the big pep talk.

Fred couldn't wait to hear it. He wasn't going to let Pietro ruin this for him. No way! This was the job of a lifetime, and—

BURP!

Fortunately, it wasn't him.  
  


"Are you drunk?" the mall manager demanded of the fourth Santa in line.  
  


"No, I'm not--maybe juss a little . . ."  
  


"You're fired! Turn in your suit and get out of here!"

The mall manager surveyed the remaining troops. "Anyone else feel like disgracing the name of Santa Claus?"  
  


"NO, SIR!"  
  


"Right! Here are your assignments: Johnson, you'll hand out flyers by the main entrance. Doherty, you'll be inside Macy's, giving out candy canes . . ."  
  


He read through a list of names, until finally,  
  


"Dukes!"  
  


"Huh?"  
  


"Seeing as you're our only Santa who's still in school, you'll be O'Neill's afternoon relief, from 3 to 6. Think you can handle it?"  
  


"Yes, sir!" Fred managed a decent salute.  
  


"Dis-missed!"  
  


The Santas scattered, leaving Fred standing there. "Uh, what do I do till three?"  
  


But no one was left to answer him.  
  
  


Pietro began his Hannukah preparations just before noon. He started with the food, since Fred wasn't around to eat it all this time.  
  


The smell of frying potato pancakes brought Magneto out of hibernation. "What are you doing?"  
  


"Making latkes for tonight."  
  


"So early?"  
  


"This way I can hide them before Blob gets home."  
  


"Where's your sister?"  
  


"She got sick, so Mystique took her to the hospital."  
  


"The hospital?" Magneto looked alarmed.  
  


"Don't worry, it's probably nothing. Hey, do you know a store around here that sells Hannukah decorations? Somebody threw out all mine from last year."  
  


"No, I don't have a clue."  
  


"Well, I'll find some. You want breakfast?"  
  


"Yes." Magneto sat down at the table, rubbing at a crack in the surface. "Something without a lot of sugar."

That eliminated most of their breakfast choices--Frosted Flakes, Pop Tarts, Sugar O's . . .   
  


There was one box of Corn Flakes way in the back. Pietro reached for them, but couldn't quite make it.  
  


He dragged over the rickety stool, climbed up, and got the cereal box.  
  


"Your latkes are burning," Magneto said.  
  


"Whooooa!" Pietro turned too fast and almost fell off the stool. He tilted left, then right, trying to stay upright.  
  


Magneto reached out with his power and turned the burner off.  
  


"I was gonna do that," Pietro said, when he was stationary once more.  
  


Lance staggered into the kitchen and said, "Uhgoffee?"  
  


"What?" Magneto said.  
  


"Coffee," Pietro translated. "He's not a morning person."  
  


"It's practically afternoon!"  
  


"He's not an afternoon person either."  
  
  


Around two o'clock Mystique came home.  
  


Alone.

"No Ahdee Baba?"moaned a clearly distraught Tad.

"She had to stay at the hospital," Mystique explained. "The doctors needed to give her some IV fluids. They said we can pick her up tomorrow."  
  


"Tomorrow?" Magneto wasn't too happy with that.  
  


"What about Hannukah?" Pietro moaned. "I haven't even finished putting up my decorations yet!"  
  


"I'm afraid we'll have to have the first night without Wanda," Mystique said.  
  


But what about the presents? How would he give her all the gifts he'd been saving for her?  
  


"Does this hospital have visiting hours?" Magneto asked. "I think I have an idea."

Hospital visiting hours ended at seven, so they had to move quickly.

In her hospital room,Wanda played with the remote, just to pass the time. There wasn't anything good on anyway.

She hated being sick . . . but at least here they left her alone, and she needed all the time alone she could get right now.

Little did she know, she wouldn't be alone much longer.  
  
  


"What room number is it?" Pietro asked. Why did he have to carry the heavy stuff?  
  


Magneto checked the slip of paper they'd given him at the front desk. "408. Should be right down here somwhere . . ."  
  


They walked past it without even knowing, and had to double back.

Wanda heard the footsteps . . .

"Surprise!" Pietro said, as he came through the door carrying the bag full of presents.  
  


Wanda was surprised all right. "What are you doing here?"  
  


"We couldn't let you miss the first night of Hannukah, so we brought it to you," her father said.  
  


Wanda's eyes nearly fell out of her head. "You came to see me?"  
  


"Things are going to be a lot different from now on," Magneto told her.  
  


Pietro started unpacking the bag. "They wouldn't let us have a fire in here, so we did the next best thing." He taped up a paper menorah with one candle lit. Wanda smiled at his ingenuity.  
  


"And then there's this." He opened the other bag, and eight clumsily-wrapped presents tumbled into her lap.  
  


"What's this?" Each of them had her name on it.  
  


"Uh . . . well . . . Iboughtyoupresentseveryyeareventhough--"  
  


"Slow down!"  
  


"I bought you presents every year," he continued slowly, "even though I never got to see you. There's more, but I thought we'd go night by night instead of all at once."  
  


Wanda was touched. Here she'd thought her family had forgotten about her, and all this time . . .  
  


"Thanks." She went to hug him, but he pulled back.  
  


"Whoa! Germs!"  
  


"Sorry."  
  


They were there till the end of visiting hours, and Wanda was sad to see them finally leave. She was happy to be part of a family again.

(A/N: I guess I probably won't get this finished by the end of January, but I'm working as hard as I can, and I can promise you it will definitely be finished before spring!)


	3. No Sleeping On Santa's Lap!

Santa Fred

(cont.)

3. No Sleeping on Santa's Lap!  
  
Fred's second day as relief Santa went about as well as his first. He had a couple of crying toddlers, and one five-

year-old who kept kicking him in the shins (leg-swinger), but other than that, it was pretty cool.  
  


"When do I get paid?" he asked.  
  


"Next week," the mall manager told him. "It runs a week behind."  
  


"So I have to wait a whole week?"  
  


The manager nodded. "And the costume--I like what you've done to it, by the way--and initial fees come out of the first check. But the next one will be huge!"  
  


Fred was glad to hear that.  
  


Just before six, he saw Toad and Tad in the line. Tad waved at him.

Tad started to say 'Uncle Fred', but Toad cut him off. "Hi, Santa!"  
  


"Hah, Sahda!" Tad said, getting the hint.  
  


When he saw the price list for photos, Toad's jaw dropped. "Ten bucks for a freaking picture? What, do they mail it from the North Pole?"

"Kinda." said Fred/Santa.

"Now I know why you're getting $15 an hour."  
  


Their turn finally came, and Toad lifted Tad up onto "Santa's" lap.   
  


"And what do you want for Christmas, little--hey!"  
  


Tad recognized a familiar tummy when he felt it, and now he was curled up on top of the fake fur, asleep.  
  


"No sleeping on Santa's lap!"  
  


"Forget what I said," Toad said. "I'd pay ten bucks for this picture."  
  


Fred gave him a very un-Santalike look.

Tad loved sleeping on Uncle Fred's soft tummy, but Uncle Fred didn't like it at all.  
  


It wouldn't have looked good, however, for Santa to shout "Get this kid off me!"

And anyway, Toad wanted to take Tad to the little playground near Chuck E. Cheese's, so he gently picked Tad up . . .

When Tad realized what was happening, he let out a wail that could be heard at the other end of the mall.  
  


"Ssshhh, ssshhh."

"Wan' Sada." Tad pleaded.

"Tomorrow we'll come back and see Santa. Other kids have to have their turn." Todd smiled at the baby. "We get to play in the sandbox!"

"San'box!" Tad beamed. He loved playing in the sandbox.  
  


"But no eating the sand, OK?"

Tad just looked confused.

"It tastes yucky."

Yucky Tad understood. "Ah gah babbah bah dah?" he gurgled.

"We'll see,Tad," Toad answered, wondering what the heck the kid had just said.

They stayed at the playground until it was time to go home for supper. Actually, Fred came looking for them as soon as he got off work.

"Hi Ahgoo Sada." said Tad when he saw Fred.

"No more sleeping," Fred said. "Santa's tummy isn't a pillow."  
  


"Yeah, you don't need a pillow," Toad said, and ducked.

"Me lak Ahgoo F'ed tummy. Sof'." said Tad.  
  


"But having you on my tummy makes me feel fat!" Fred moaned. "Besides, you have other soft places to sleep."

"Nah lak Ahgoo F'ed tummy."

"Tad, people are staring at you."

"Hmm?" Tad looked around. Sure enough, a group of girls had stopped and were watching Tad's every move.

"He's so cute!" one cooed. "How old is he?"  
  


"Uh . . . we don't really know. He was kinda left on our doorstep."

"Og! Ibbit!" Tad beamed.

One of the girls did a double-take. "Did he just say ribbit?"  
  


"Yeah, he thinks he's a frog."  
  


"That's so cute! Can I hold him?"

Tad looked at his big brother.

"Ah gah bah," he said. Todd looked at him.   
  


Too bad we couldn't build something to translate for us.

The girls picked Tad up. "What's your name, cutie?"  
  


"Tah," he said.  
  


"What?"  
  


"Tad," Todd translated. "He can kinda talk, but not really."

"Og babee," Tad giggled.

"Yeah, you're a frog baby," Todd said, taking his brother back and putting him in his stroller. "Say bye-bye."

"Bah bah."  
  


"Frog baby?" the second girl asked Todd.

"Long story."  
  


They got to the other end of the mall before Tad started to cry. He had lost Ribbit somewhere, and they had to go all the way back before they found the toy.

They found him inside Video Barn,patiently guarding a shelf of anime tapes. "C'mon,Ibbit." said Tad, putting him in the stroller and clutching him tightly.

When they got home, Mystique called them over.  
  


"Wanda's home," she said.  
  


"Ahdee Babah!" Tad cried happily.  
  


"How's she doin'?" Toad asked.  
  


"She's better, but still very tired and weak. So don't bother her!"  
  


"Who, me?"

"Yes, **you."**

"Okay, okay!"  
  


Tad had an idea. He crawled up the stairs to Auntie Wanda's room, Ribbit in hand. The door was closed, and Tad still had no clue about doorknobs, so he head-butted the door until someone opened it.  
  


"Tad?"  
  


"Hah, Ahdee Babah!" Tad held up Ribbit. "Ibbit!"  
  


"Yeah, I see."

"Sah hi Ahdee Baba, Ibbit."

He waved one of Ribbit's flippers.

Though she normally wasn't that crazy about stuffed animals, Wanda waved back. "He's cute!"

"Ahdee Baba likoo, Ibbit." Tad told the stuffed frog.

Then Tad had an idea. Maybe Ribbit would help cheer Auntie Wanda up.

"Ibbit stah withoo tonah, Ahdee Babah." Tad beamed.

"Whah?" Wanda wasn't so good at translating Tad-speak.

Tad offered the frog to Wanda.

"But that's your Ribbit."

"He sah he wantoo be happee." Tad told her.

"But what about germs?"

"Ibbit no germs."

"No, no, he could get my germs." She was amazed at how well Tad was talking. Most kids that young could barely manage a few words.

If she only knew where to go to get an IQ test for babies . . .

"Okay. Ribbit can stay with me."  
  


Tad made a happy noise, went to hug her, then remembered about the germs. Germs were bad things.  
  


"Naht, Ahdee Babah."

"Good night, Tad."

Ribbit slept under the covers with her, curled up against her side.  
  


As for Tad . . . he spent the night with a stuffed Teletubby under his arm.  
  


"Naht, Dipsee." he said to the Teletubby.

It wasn't Ribbit, but at least it was green.

The next morning, Wanda felt a lot better.

She washed Ribbit and brought him back to Tad's crib, where Tad was still snuggling Dipsy.  
  


"Here's Ribbit," Wanda said, holding him out.

Tad took Ribbit and gave Wanda his Dipsy. "Ahdee Babah nee'," he said.  
  


"What?"  
  


"I think he wants you to have Dipsy," Fred said.

"You sure,Tad?" Wanda asked.

"Ahdee Babah nee'," Tad repeated.

"OK." Wanda picked up the Teletubby doll, and Tad waved Ribbit's flipper.  
  


"Babye, Dipsee."

When she came downstairs with it, the first words out of her mouth were, "Anyone who laughs gets a hex bolt up the side of the head."

Nobody laughed.

(So . . . how do you like it so far? I'm planning to skip ahead for the next chapter to just before Christmas. I think I'll have five chapters in all, which will be condensed into chapter 8 of "Frog Baby 2". So if I need to make any changes, please let me know.)


	4. Christmas Time Is Here

Santa Fred

(cont.)

4. Christmas Time Is Here  
  
The final days before Christmas were busy ones for Fred . . . and everyone else, for that matter. Nobody had anything done. 

"Mee halp, Ahdee?" Tad asked Mystique, who was wrapping presents.

  Mystique looked at Tad. "You can bring me that bag over there."

Tad toddled over to the bag, picked it up and handed it to Mystique. "Heah, Ahdee Miseek."

"You really are talking, aren't you?"

Tad nodded."'Essmee S'eet."he explained. Showing his counting skills, he said:"Un, doo, th'ee, foh, fahve..."  
Mystique was startled. She'd heard of child prodigies before, but she'd never heard of anyone learning to count this young. Even Charles Xavier, according to Magnus, hadn't started learning numbers till he was three.

"That's nice," she said.   
Tad gave her an irritated look. "No' done! Sees, seba, eat, nahn, te'."

Mystique's eyes widened...

Then someone called her from the other room . . .

"Wait right here, Tad."

Tad looked at her like he didn't understand. "Wah Ahdee go?"

"I'm just going to see what's wrong . . ."

"Ahdee com bak?"

"Of course I'm coming back! I've still got all this to wrap!"

Tad beamed."Okay.Babye, Ahdee Miseek.I p'ay Ibbit."

While Tad played with Ribbit, Mystique went to see what the matter was.

It turned out to be a simple problem....

"I can't get this to stay up!" Wanda was trying desperately but unsuccessfully to pin up a snowflake decoration.... 

"Have you tried tape?"  
"It won't stick to these walls!" She shook her head in frustration...

"Try hanging a string from the ceiling," Mystique suggested.

So she did... "Perfect!"

Tad looked around at all the presents Auntie Mystique had to wrap.... This one looked interesting. He started to rip open the box . . . but stopped when he heard Auntie Wanda....

"No, Tad, that's not for you."

"No me?" asked Tad.

"No, Tad. Anyway, we're not supposed to open them till . . ." Wanda stopped short, confused.When were they supposed to be opened, anyway? 

Tad looked at the presents, then at Wanda. "Ti' w'en, Ahdee Baba?"

"Till . . . till Auntie Mystique says you can."

Tad nodded."Okay, Ahdee Baba."

Wanda didn't even know when Christmas was. While she was in the hospital, one day had blended into the next. And that had also been true where Hanukkah was concerned.... She was still tripping over all the presents that Pietro had given her . . . when she came home from the hospital. And most of them were useless . . . especially the pink go-go boots... sized to fit a ten-year-old.   
I don't know where he got the idea that I was ever a fan of the Spice Girls, but as soon as I can find a free moment, I'm donating those stupid things to Goodwill. Or something.

There was one gift she liked, though... It was a photograph of her and Pietro with their father, taken . . . on a beach in the Caribbean.... He had brought them on one of his business trips. It had been one of the happiest days of her life.... 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from the next room. "Oh, great."she sighed.... "What have those idiots broken now?"  
In their haste to get the Christmas tree up, the boys had knocked everything off the walls and nearly decapitated each other.  
"Is it straight?" asked Lance.

Mystique shook her head.... "A little to the right."  
Toad and Fred yanked the tree so far to the right that it nearly broke a window.  
"A little, I said!"

"Sorry, Mystique."Fred said.

Their attempts to fix the seriously tilted tree sheared all the needles off one side, and nearly gave Lance a concussion.  
"This is like watching Laurel and Hardy deck the halls," Mystique said.  
All three boys looked at her blankly. "Who?"  
Wanda cleared her throat. "Has anyone seen Pietro?"

Fred just stared at her.... "I thought he was with you!"

"You don't think he ran away, yo?"asked Toad.

"Why would he do that?" Lance asked.

"To make us feel sorry for him, maybe?"

Wanda started to say something.... but a glance from Tad convinced her to drop the wisecrack before it even got out of her mouth. 

As it happened, Pietro was out buying a ton of CDs. Most of which were for himself, but some were gifts. One was a disc of children's songs for Tad....

As he went up to pay . . . he noticed something.... out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, what's this?" he said, picking up.... a little frog figure. He pressed its stomach... and it did absolutely nothing. 

"Bummer."Pietro sighed.

Then he found one that was working . . .  and it said "Ribbit!"

Perfect!  
Then he turned it over and saw the price.

"$3.99." For _this_ little thing? 

Then he saw what else it could do... It also hopped, stood on its head, blinked and when he pressed the button on its back . . . it did a somersault.

This would be great for a stocking! Are we doing stockings?

He could just see the look on Tad's face.... So he bought it, and had it wrapped at the store.  
  
  


Meanwhile, Fred's last days as Santa were not going smoothly. In fact, he was in danger of getting fired.... 

It wasn't his fault the day guy never showed up and no one told him . . . or that the kids wouldn't sit still.

And as they got closer and closer to Christmas, the lists of demands became more and more exorbitant. They were asking for everything but gold bullion... only because they didn't know what it was. 

Why couldn't the other kids be more like Tad? He'd even put up with them sleeping on his tummy!

"What is it with you, Dukes?" his boss grumbled.

"How many more days is it to Christmas again?" Fred asked, as another little whiner jumped down.

"Three."

"I don't think I can take much more of this." And he meant it....

"If you can just hold out for a few more days . . . just till 6:00 Christmas Eve. You think you can do that?"

"I'll try..."

Tad was back. "No s'eep," he promised.

"OK, Tad."

"Tell Santa what you want for Christmas," Todd prompted him.

"F'end foh Ibbit." Tad said.

"What kind of a friend for Ribbit?"

"Odder og."

"What about you? It's okay if Ribbit wants a playmate, but what do you want?"

Tad held up a video cassette box."Tubbies."

"Okay."

Tad loved the Teletubbies more than anything else in the world...except for his big brother and Ribbit, that is.

And Aunt Kitty. Hey, there she was!  
"Aht Giggy!" Tad called to her, waving his arms.

"Hi, Tad!"

"Hi, Ahgoo Ku't."

"Hello, Tad.Vhere's Ribbit?"

"Ibbit!" Tad pulled Ribbit out from under him and waved his flipper.

"Hi, Ribbit!"

"An' Sada!" Tad added.

"Fred?" Kitty said, surprised.

"Sssshhhhh!" Tad said. "Secwet."

"Secret?"  
Tad nodded."Ahgoo F'ed p'ay Sada coz reel Sada busee mak toize."

"Oh, okay." She hadn't understood a word of that, but Tad wouldn't know that.

"Wha' Aht Giggy wa't for Kismus?"Tad asked her.

Kitty looked a bit uncomfortable, and Kurt said, "She's already had her holiday."

"Okay.Agoo-agoos?"

"Okay." She came over and huggle-wuggled Tad. He thought she smelled really nice . . .

"Aht Giggee ba'?"he asked her.

"Yes, I had a bath. Why?"

"Sme' lak so'p."

"Well, aren't you a smart little frog baby?"

"Sma't og babee."Tad repeated cheerfully.

"Santa needs his lap back." Fred interrupted.

Tad climbed down. "Bah, Aht Giggy. Bah, Ahgoo Ku't."

"Auf Wiedersehn, Tad."  
"Bye, Tad."

"Bah, Sada."  
"Bye, Tad. Next!"  
As Tad toddled over to Auntie Wanda, he heard Aunt Kitty say, "Whose stupid idea was it to have Hanukkah three weeks early?"  
"Don't azk me!"

"Ahdee Babah, what Ahnka?"Tad asked her.

"What's what?"

"Ahnakha."Tad repeated.

"Oh, Hanukkah. Remember when Uncle Magneto and Uncle Pietro and l lit the candles and said prayers at the kitchen table?"  
"Uh huh."  
"We even let you spin the dreidel," Wanda said with a smile.

"D'eidle fun." Tad said.

"Why are you asking about Hanukkah?"

"Me he' Aht Giggee an' Ahgoo Ku't tak 'bout it."Tad explained.

"Oh."

Tad looked at Wanda. "Wha' w'ong?"

"Nothing, Tad.It's just that I wasn't expecting you to ask me so soon." Wanda explained. "Most kids your age are still trying to learn how to count past five."

"Sma' 'og babee," Tad said, beaming.

"Very smart frog baby." Wanda replied in admiration. "Would Ribbit like to learn about Hanukkah too?" "Ibbit?"  
Tad nodded Ribbit's head. "Ibbit wan'."

Wanda couldn't help thinking at that moment that her mother would have loved Tad. If only she could have been here to meet him . . .

At the Xavier Institute, the halls had been thoroughly decked. A gigantic Christmas tree stood in the front hall.  
Today was the day that those students who were going home for the holidays were leaving.

There was also a rather sizable menorah on display, and Evan and Ororo had taken the liberty of setting up prayer rooms for those observing Ramadan...

"So who are we inviting to our big multi-holiday dinner?" asked Scott Summers.

"I was thinking about asking if Tad could join us," Professor Xavier replied.

"Tad?"

"I think it would be good for us to reach out to Tad and his family, in the spirit of the season."

"What if Todd says no?"

"I should hardly think he'd have any objection to Christmas dinner . . ."

"Just trying to be prepared for anything, Professor."

He made the call after the students who were going home had left.  
Kitty was staying (she and her parents had celebrated Hanukkah when she'd gone home at Thanksgiving), as well as Evan, Kurt, Bobby Drake, Rogue . . . and, of course, Scott.

Todd was feeding Tad his juice when Professor Xavier called him...

"Yeah?"

"Todd, I was wondering..."

"I didn't do it! It wasn't me! It was . . . uh . . . Pietro! Yeah, that's it!"

"Actually, Todd, I was calling to find out if you and Tad wanted to join us for our holiday dinner."  
Todd stared at the phone, wondering what was up. "You serious, yo?"

"Of course. There's always a place for you and Tad here, should you decide to join us."

"Hang on a sec."Todd turned to his baby brother and asked him. (Silly as that sounded.) 

Tad clapped his hands and giggled."Ta' go! Ta' go!"

"What about everyone else, though? Auntie Mystique? Uncle Lance? Auntie Wanda?"

"Ahdee Miseek."Tad repeated...

"What about me?" said Fred, who had just come in.

"I don't think you'd fit in their chairs, yo."said Toad.

"No Sada?" Tad said. They couldn't have Christmas without Santa!

"Uh, do you have a super-sized chair for Fred?" Todd asked Xavier.

"I'm sure I can find one."

"Cool."

"Ahdee Miseek? Ahgoo 'Needo?" Tad asked.

"Hang on, Taddy..." Todd went back to the phone. "Uh . . . can everyone come?"

And so it was that Christmas Day, Todd and Tad--and most of the rest of the Brotherhood--found themselves at the Xavier Institute, celebrating with the X-Men.  
Fred even wore his Santa suit.

(Whew! Who knew a Christmas story would run into the summertime? I'm working hard on Chapter 5, and will get it up as soon as I can!)


	5. Christmas Dinner and Presents

Santa Fred

(cont.)

(This is it! The grand finale! Hope you enjoyed it!)

5. Christmas Dinner and Presents! 

"He p'ay Sada coz real Sada busee." Tad explained to Storm.

"Oh, I see."

"Wan' p'ay with Ibbit?"

"What's an Ibbit?"  
"Ibbit!" Tad held up Ribbit and waved his flipper.

"Oh, your frog! Hello there." She took Ribbit from him.

Tad saw Kurt Wagner. "Hi, Ahgoo Fuzzy!"

"Uncle Fuzzy?" Kitty giggled.

"I like being Fuzzy," Kurt said, picking Tad up and nuzzling him.

Tad giggled again and played peekaboo with Kurt.

"Where's the presents, yo?"

"Todd!" Kitty protested.

"What? We don't get any? I got you somethin'!"

"I just meant that you should wait until later for the presents. We're having dinner, then opening presents."  
"Ohhhhh. Why didn't ya say so?"

Tad clapped his hands. "P'esent!" he giggled.

"Later, Tad. Not now."

Tad looked a bit disappointed, but took Ribbit over to see Auntie Wanda.  
"Wha' w'ong?" he asked her.

Wanda glanced down at Tad and said, "I feel like I shouldn't be here."

"Id okay, Ahdee Baba." said Tad,reaching out to hug her.

"GROUP HUG!" Pietro blurred up beside them, reached out, and squeezed both of them . . . prompting Wanda to yelp "OUCH! Pietro,you're squishing me!"

"Oops!" He loosened the death grip a bit, and stroked Tad's fuzzy hair.

"Dinner's ready!" Jean called from the kitchen.

They put Tad in a high chair. "Where'd you get this?" Todd asked.  
Jean blushed, but said nothing.

"Lub Aht Jeen."Tad said.

"I love you too, Tad," Jean said. "I wish you could come live here with us."  
"Wha' 'bout To'?"

"Wow,I've never seen a kid so attached to his big brother." Scott said to Evan.

"Bet you wish Alex wasn't so far away, huh?"

"You can say that again."

The seating arrangements had been the biggest problem . . . especially given how huge Fred was. The rivalries between certain X-Men and Brotherhood members also presented a problem. Fortunately, Xavier knew exactly where to put everyone to cause the least amount of problems. 

And everyone agreed that Tad should be right between Todd and  Kitty. 

"Aht Giggy," Tad sighed.  
"I just hope she didn't cook," muttered Pietro under his breath. 

Lance heard that, and whacked him under the table. 

Something about Tad's presence seemed to have a calming influence on all of them, because Christmas dinner went surprisingly well. Pity Tad didn't come along sooner, Magneto mused when dinner was over. 

"P'esents! P'esents!" Tad kept saying to his big brother.

"Yeah, time to open the presents!" Todd leaped into the living room and pounced on the pile of presents under the eight-foot tree. "I'll hand 'em out."  
"No!" Tad said. "Sada do!"

Santa?" Evan said, not sure what Tad meant.

Fred lumbered forward. "Hand 'em over, Toad."

Toad sighed. "Sure, I'll be your little elf."

Todd handed the first present to Fred. "Okay, this first one's for Tad."

"Yay!" Tad tried to open the wrapping paper by biting it.  
"No, no, Taddy! We don't eat wrapping paper!" Todd took it away and "helped" him open it. "Wait, who's it from?"

"Ahdee Babah." said Tad.

"Let's see what nice thing Auntie Wanda got you." 

Much to Tad's delight, it turned out to be a pink frog that looked just like Ribbit. Named, appropriately enough, Pinkie.

"Pinkee!" Tad squealed. He reached for Ribbit. "Ook, Ibbit. Dis Pinkee."

Tad waved Pinkie's flipper at Ribbit and made Ribbit wave back.  
"Awww . . . isn't that cute," said Kitty.

"Who's next?" Fred--Santa asked.  
Todd picked up the next one off the pile. "To Kitty from Kurt. Oh, look, there's little blue hearts all over--"

"Just give her the package already." Lance sighed.

Fred handed it over. Kitty, looking very embarrassed, opened it carefully . . . and found a beautiful book of poems.

"Ooh! This is nice!" she said, reading the inscription inside. "Where'd you find it?"

"Someone recommended it," Kurt said,with a glance at Rogue.

"OK,"said Toad,"this one's from "us, to Tad."

Tad looked happy he was getting another present. "Tubbies?" he asked Toad.

"Let's see." He ripped the paper off . . . and sure enough, there were Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, and Po on the cover of a Teletubbies tape.

"Tubbies!"  
Pietro looked bored. "Can someone besides Tad open something?"

Wanda rolled her eyes. "Give Prince Whiney one of his," she said to Fred.

Fred picked up a package marked "To Pietro from Tad".

"Gee, I wonder what this is?"

Tad giggled. Uncle Pietro was funny sometimes.

Pietro opened it . . . and saw a sweater, which Tad had helped Wanda pick out.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Pietro exclaimed. "This is pink!"  
Wanda just smiled.

"W'at w'ong, Ahgoo P'etro?"

"I . . . uh, don't look good in pink."  
"How's it feel?" Wanda said. "Don't worry, I kept the receipt. I just wanted to see your face."

Pietro rolled his eyes."You've got a sick sense of humor,you know that?"  
"Dis Aht Giggee's." Tad said,handing Kitty another package.

"Who's it from?" Kitty asked.

"Ahgoo Scott."

"Wanna help me open it?"

Tad nodded.

Once they had ripped it open, she found a brand-new DVD player. "Wow! You shouldn't have!"  
"You've been saying how much you want one, so a couple of us went in on it together . . . and got some discs to go with it."

There was a smaller package with three discs of her favorite movies. "So who else is involved?" Kitty asked.

"Rogue . . ."

"Ah told him to get you that one . . . cause you rented it about a hundred times already," the Southern girl said.

"Thanks, Rogue."

"Jean pitched in for it too," Scott said.

"Where is she?"

Jean, who was way in the back, raised a hand.

"Thanks, Jean!"

"And," Scott continued, "if you'll look over here . . ."

"There's more?" Kitty asked.

"Me see?" said Tad.

Kitty put him up on her lap so he could get a better view.

"This," Scott said, "is a carrying case for your CD player."

"Ooh!" Kitty exclaimed. "Who got me that?" It had cute little anime designs on it.

"The professor . . . but Kurt helped pick it out."

"And it vasn't easy, let me tell you!" said Kurt, remembering the countless hours he'd spent looking over the customized designs on the website.

"Thanks, guys."

"Who's next?"  
The gifts went on all afternoon, into the evening. The most amusing gift was a set of talking Teletubbies for Tad. It was a joint gift from Kurt and Evan.

"Tankoo, Ahgoo Ku't, Ahgoo Ebb'n." said Tad, making Dipsy and Tinky-Winky dance on the table. 

But the best gift of all was . . .  
"Ooh! Kiddee!" Tad opened a large box with air holes all over and found a tiny kitten staring up at him.

The kitten meowed and tentatively reached out a tiny paw . . .

"I think she wants to come out and see you," said Toad.

"Let me help." Fred reached in and held the kitten up in front of Tad.  
"Hi, kiddiee." Tad said.

"Mew." The kitten rubbed up against him, which made Tad giggle.  
"Kiddee kiss me!"

"What are we gonna call him?" Lance said to Toad.  
"Since she's Siamese," Mystique said, "how about Sagwa?"  
"What-the?" Toad looked at her funny.  
"How do you even know if she's a girl?" Wanda asked.  
"The man at the pet shop told me," Mystique said, "when I bought her. She's a purebred Siamese, had all her shots and everything."

"What about Mei Ling?" said Lance.

"That's so cute!" said Kitty.

"May?" Tad said. "Hi, May."  
"Mew!"

"Tankoo, Ahdee Miseek." Tad said as he stroked Mei's fur.

"ACHOO!"

Everybody turned toward Pietro, who was wiping his nose.  
"What?"

"Kleenex, Pietro?" Mystique said, holding one out.

"Thanks. Ah-CHOOOO!" His head felt like it was about to explode.

"Isn't there anything you can give him to make him stop sneezing?"Wanda complained to Magneto.

"I suppose," he said. "I could try giving him the antihistamine I took earlier. But we have no way of knowing if it will work."

As for Toad and Tad, they were busy playing with Mei.

"Nice kitty." Toad said, stroking Mei's back.  
"Nas kiddiee." Tad repeated, listening to Mei purr.

"ACHOO! Nice kitty that's--AH-CHOOOO!--sniff--killing me!" Pietro looked over at his father. "Hey, why aren't you--AHH-CHOOOOO!"

"Oh, calm down, Pietro," Magneto said, and handed him a pill. "Take this and see if it helps."

Pietro was skeptical, but took the pill anyway. It seemed to work at first, but then . . . he passed out.  
Tad looked alarmed. "Ahgoo P'etro die?"

"No, Tad, he's just sleeping off the antihistamine." Magneto said.

"We can't keep him in a coma all the time . . . can we?" Wanda asked.

"No, probably not."  
"So what do we do?"

"I might be able to modify the formula to work better with his unique metabolism . . ." Magneto's forte' was engineering, not biochemistry, but he was pretty sure he knew what to do.

He mixed a formula which would keep pace with Pietro's metabolism . . . and it worked just fine.

When the festivities were over, and it was time for Tad and the others to go home, Kitty couldn't resist one last little huggle-wuggle on Tad.

"Merry Christmas, you sweet little baby!"

"Me'y Kismus, Aht Giggiee!" said Tad.

"God bless us, every one!" Todd shouted, and dragged them all together for one great big group hug.

"God help us,you mean," Magneto sighed, feeling himself get squished between Kurt and Fred.

"More eggnog?" Xavier offered.

"Only if it's highly alcoholic."

THE END


End file.
